July 2008


On a less thoughtful related note – I think there is a skunk outside my window. Eck.

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Why does it feel like everyone is moving on and doing great things while I’m standing still?

And of course, I’m not. I just moved, and am about to start grad school. But in a way, it seems like more of the same. I’m doing what I think I should, what I want really, but there is so much else that I also want, and sometimes I think it overshadows the rest.

I want to Travel. Honestly, I don’t really envy those kids who don’t have to work though college, have their parents pay for everything and can go home any weekend to their own untouched room – except that they have the freedom which comes with it. They geto to study abroad, and take trips to Europe, and I’m still here, in California, the state which I have explored but never left. I really don’t have any desire to see the rest of this country – honestly I think California is best suited to my tastes. But to be able to go to England, Germany, Italy, Greece, Egypt, India, the list goes on and on – well I would hardly believe it was happening.

Sigh. I guess my proverbial grass on the other side really IS on the other side – of the world that is. I’m not one of those women who could be happy with a nice house in the suburb, a career, and a kid or two, I want something different. It’s not that there is anything wrong with being all that, but someday I want to be able to go everywhere and not have to worry about anything other than drinking the water or getting ripped off by the currency trade. Who needs a gigantic house here when you could have 3 beautiful houses around the world? 

This desire to roam is offputting at times – it makes everything around me seem so stationary when it’s not. But I;ll just have to put it in the back of my mind like so many other things that have to wait until I feel that I’ve been sufficiently educated. After that I think I’ll try and let the world do the rest.

The story of my life so far: Someday.