This morning, I woke up feeling old. Why, you ask? Because last night was the airing of the highly-anticipated, or should I say highly-marketed, MTV movie awards.

Sigh. I am beginning to feel that I am not their target audience. [Insert sigh of relief]

Honestly, the only reason I was watching was to see the New Moon preview (I know, I judge me too) which I really could have just seen online the next day. And I had to put up with a constant sense of inner-embarrassment while watching – the same feeling I got when Katherine Heigl started singing in 27 Dresses. But then I would have missed Sacha Baron Cohen flashing his lady parts in Eminem’s face.  And let’s just set the record straight – of course the stunt was planned and Eminem’s “storming off” was expected, even though they deny it. He was miked! And it’s not like they mike everyone in the audience, because frankly, we don’t need to hear the incoherent ramblings of front-row Paris Hilton.

They really should of titled the show ‘This is not the Oscars’ because, honestly, no decent movie stood a chance against Twilight and its twitter-enabled posse.  And I think the actors knew how ridiculous it all was – well, I hope they did. One blogger’s comment that Robert Pattison and Kristin Stewart were stoned out of their minds was probably the funniest thing to see – honestly even if it’s not true it still cracks me up.

And even though the show was obviously aimed at the hormone-crowd, the jokes were surprisingly dirty. And don’t get me wrong, I love a good sexual joke now and then, but they were just….cheap. And isn’t the d*ck in a box joke ages old?

Come on people.

Maybe if those screaming girls picked up a book other that Twilight now and then…Stephanie Meyers’ writing is like a hostess cupcake; you might crave it and it has an occasional place in your diet, but if it was all you ever ate, you’d die.

I will, however, say that Jim Carry was quite funny. Which just shows that certain people can still shine while surrounded by low-brow teenage entertainment.

Ok, done ranting.

Wait! One more thing, the CGI wolf was a little too…fluffy.

But on a more ‘artsy’ note, the movie itself looked better; better color, costumes, etc. The makeup actually looks professional. And whoever is working on the film must have realized that a foggy cold forest doesn’t have to be entirely gray. Thank you!

lrg-1556-picture_43

P.S. I want this cake.

lrg-1580-picture_20

It should come as no suprise- after all I’ve been devouring (with an intense literary appetite) Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings for years. But, on a whim, I picked up the latest craze and decided to read. Fast forward to 3 am that night, and I am fully involved in Twilight. And why? If you aren’t really into books and I can’t quite begin to explain. But – I did find this lovely quote

“Meyer and Rowling do share two important traits. Both writers embed their fantasy in the modern world–Meyer’s vampires are as deracinated and contemporary as Rowling’s wizards. And people do not want to just read Meyer’s books; they want to climb inside them and live there. James Patterson may sell more books, but not a lot of people dress up like Alex Cross. There’s no literary term for the quality Twilight and Harry Potter (and The Lord of the Rings) share, but you know it when you see it: their worlds have a freestanding internal integrity that makes you feel as if you should be able to buy real estate there.”

And, although Meyer’s books are quite “clean” in that kids won’t really get what all is going on, underneath “they are absolutely, deliciously filthy”(according to newsweek). Honestly there is some raw emotion being expressed there, even if there isn’t that much physical touching. But, in my opinion, those books that make you feverishly turn the page just hoping that something will happen between the couple can be much more erotic that when you get every detail. Besides – I’m sure there are many fanfic people out there writing enough sultry material to satisfy any over-curious reader.

I did find Meyer’s religious background a bit unsettling at first, after all I didn’t expect her to be Mormon when I was reading, especially compared to other works that have been written by very religious writers. Some Christian fiction can be so heavy in ellusions to what a ‘proper’ Chrisitan should be that the text loses it ease, and trades effortless narration for overwrought prose. However, aside from the no sex till marriage thing I haven’t found anything nagging. In fact, the sheer force of the book is enough for me to forget the author entirely. Honestly, the few Mormons I actually ever knew were a bit odd, and weren’t allowed to go to dances or even group dates, which seemed silly. (But then, these people may have been odd all on their own, faith excluding.) One family would stand in their driveway every October 31st, saying “We don’t celebrate Halloween” to trick-or-treaters. I’m glad to see that Meyer has not shyed away from anything supernatural, but rather embraces it, and even prefers it to humanity.

There is an odd effect produced when a book attempts to appeal to both teens and adults alike, like Harry Potter and Twilight. Somehow there is a fairytale-like sense of realism where things can happen which we yearn for but know can’t happen, for whatever reason. And it is odd that in this realm of magic and vampires that readers can find actual human passion and truth, in their most basic form. And I think that is what grasps the modern reader. So many more realistic adult novels are wonderfully expressive, dark or not, but some lose that universality that comes from more fantastic stories.

In any case, these books have a hold on me, as many already do. I have already “devoured” (sorry, couldn’t help it) the first two books, two to go. And I’m quite happy that I came upon this series late in the game, because there is NO WAITING! The final book comes out in ONE day, and I already reserved it. No more waiting for years….because waiting for Harry Potter was tortuous enough.

All this excitement about books has me extremely encouraged, because it means the public can finally get excited about something that doesn’t have to be plugged in. It means that literature still has a power over us…

…It means there is hope that someday, after all my years of pricey education, that there will be a job waiting. It means there is hope for humanity.

Last year, I read an article which declared that this was the year where “Harry Potter Saved Reading.” I sincerly hope this is true – that people are reaching past television and video games for something more substantial, something that can reach our minds, and persuade them to come alive.